Moron Watch: White House Letter to Iran Intercepted!

My contact inside the White House, Lupe the Janitor, has just gotten me a draft of a letter supposedly being crafted for delivery to Iran.  I understand that this is just a draft but reflects the collective efforts of more than 250 White House and State Department Staff over the last 52 days and is very nearly the final version.  Here’s the unexpurgated text…

T  H  E     W  H  I  T  E     H  O  U  S  E
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20100
changethis@whitehouse.gov

Mackmoude Amenjad
Most Best President, Islamic Republick of Iran

Dearest Ackmoud:

Slim alakheim!  I hope this finds you and your wives and numerous children well. 

Mac, just a note to let you know that we are thinking about you back here in the New World!  Ha!  Bet you didn’t expect t ohere from me so soon, what with that silly banking collapse and all.  Don’t worry!  We’ve got people on it.  Barney Frank and Christopher Dodd (two of our big-time politicians here and long-time friends of Iran) in the Hosue of Representatives (part of our government structure) are/is(?) keeping an eye on things.  We’ll get it straightened out in a few days.

Anyway, I was a little disgusted with what are sometimes referred to as the disloyal opposition here in the beely of the Great Satan.  Republicans / Nazis / International Terrorists / Zionists [Which should we use? – Rham], here have opposed our duly elected Governmet (WE WON! GAME OVER!) and have been doing their best to destroy the good relations between our two countries which have in times past we have enjoyed udder Democratic Presidents like our good friend, Jimmy Carter and Bill J. Clinton.  I just need to point out that the good guys here in america are back in power and we are going to do everything we can to make up for the belligerence and hate spread by the cowboy infidel regime that preceeded us.  In fact, rest assured that I have Justice Department working on US indictments for the top people in the Bush administration and are looking for proper ways to even have the world Court go after the Bushes, get them for war crimes and stuff.  Maybe those Sharia courts in England can arrest and try the Bush daughters for prostitution.  What d o you think?  Anyway, let me know at your earliest convenience and keep a few days open on your calendar, say, for later this year so you can maybe testify against them.

But down to business, what can we do to help you guys get back on your feet and to also get your rural nuclear electrification program back up and running?  The Bush monsters notwithstanding, our Good Guy government is ready to help.  Just let us know what we need to do and I’ll see to  it that it get’s done.

YBFF,

[signature]

B. Hussein Obama II
Presindent, united states of amerikkka

cc:  Hillary Rodham Clinton, Secretary of State

PS:  Send me your direct line via diplomatic courier and I’ll call and give you mine.

PSS:  I include a little gift for you and the Mmes.  Hope you like the pickled pigs’ feet.  They are from my favorite store on the Chicago South Side (one of our biggest cites–I’m from there, so this is a little taste of my home).  I think they are just great!

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One Response to “Moron Watch: White House Letter to Iran Intercepted!”

  1. When is the sleep over at the White House? Send Air Force One for Ackmoud so it can happen soon!

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